Setting boundaries is crucial to avoid stress. 

Dott. Boettiger explains that stress occurs when there is a friction between our inner world and the outer world. Specifically, when we are stressed we usually experience an imbalance between the expectations that are set by the outer world and our inner selves. 

While some of us try and tackle this friction, others prefer to step back, therefore allowing this tension to persist. When we resolve to do something about it however, it is important that we become vocal about it, and share our concerns with people around us rather than hold them in. If we don’t do so, we maintain a system that is totally unhealthy. 

How can this be applied to the workspace? 

First of all, we need to reframe the feeling of shame and guilt that comes from expressing our boundaries. As a matter of fact, we all tend to fall into the trap of “this is what is expected of me, and if I don’t do it I am a bad person“.

By feeding such fear we are doing nothing but creating a toxic bottleneck for ourselves. By opening up about our internal struggles on the other hand, not only do we manage to depersonalize them, but we also allow other people into our own system, which is the starting point for a healthy conversation. 

Setting boundaries is a process that we learn by experiencing and learning about the outer world, which in this case could be represented by the set of beliefs of our colleagues or our boss.
For the same reasons, leaders should strive to create the right conditions for their colleagues to open up about their inner world. More specifically, leaders could create psychological safety by proactively addressing frictions within the organization.